So I arrived in Indiana, on tuesday night safe and sound. All has been great here, living with my best friend Samantha and her Fiance and his best friend Nate. Honestly I couldn't ask for life to be any better than it is right now. Things feel like they have fallen right into place and I am finally where I belong. Since I've been here I really wasn't thinking much of everything I left behind in vegas, or my mom; I was just adapting to my new environment and enjoying being away from Vegas. But this morning.. I woke up quite early and I couldn't get thoughts out of my mind about my mom, so just recently I decided to look online at her records and everything still is the same no changes. I feel bad..because I'm sure she is lonely, and sad..I can't imagine her pain and sadness. How it must feel to be all alone everyday..and night. No familiar sound to comfort you and make you feel better. I know I did the right thing walking away from Vegas but It is hard not being able to at least talk to her and give her guidance and love.. I know she knows I love her, and that I am here no matter what but I know she thinks I abandoned her. I pray every day and night that she will make it through this a changed woman..there is only so much I can do for her it's time for her to take care of herself but I want to save her.. but I can't save her.. only god can.
I hope to be able to talk to her soon, let her know I am still here with her every step of the way, and that god is watching over her and none has left her. On a brighter note my best friend is getting married in July and asked me to be her maid of honor, i'm extremely honored and happy for her. We've said since we first met 5 years ago that we'd be there at each others wedding and be maid of honors and it's happy. 5 years and still going, our friendship just keeps building stronger and stronger. I love her. <3
I can't wait for what this year brings, I know it'll be a great year, of great things.
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