Find myself at your door, like many times before.

Well a lot has happen since I last wrote in this blog..and I felt the urge to write and let my thoughts free. So here is whats new in my life since I wrote in September. I had started working for my friend Bill's studio and things were going okay, but I could feel life slowly turning upside down waiting to erupt in my face. I eventually ended up moving out of my moms house for about 2 weeks or a month maybe, into this girl Alex's house and when I moved with her we were becoming good friends and I had no idea that she was living a separate life. Things were going pretty good at first, then I found out she was doing heroin etc and other things, and of course I didn't do anything like that infact I ended up actually getting very deathly ill because they always smoked inside the house and I was getting second hand smoke and didn't realize it and started just feeling so sick, and going through crazy withdraws and didn't know why. After I realized why I was getting sick I decided to contact my friend Bill told him I wanted to get out of the house etc it wasn't a good environment and also because me and Alex began having problems for reasons that are still unknown. So I went and stayed at Bill's place for the night and then I told him I don't want to go back there and so I went to Alex's to get my things and she ended up beating me up because I wanted my stuff back. Then I moved back in with my mom couple days later. Things were okay, but still I wasn't happy. I felt like I was in the shadows doing just enough to get by but never satisfied. Life stayed in the same place for the next few months then as the new year came closer, things got worse. My mother went to Jail in December and I took over her job at the studio working the front desk managing stuff, I was thrown into a situation I had no idea how to handle. I mean I knew how to deal with my mom going to Jail she's been there many times before in the past years. It honestly felt like deja vu because she was in Jail last year around my birthday and my ex Dj and I were living together and keeping the bills paid etc. But this time she went it was much worse...she really has done herself up good this time. She has a total of 21 felony charges pending against her, and will be in for quite some time according to people I've spoken to. Anywho! about a month later of her going to jail and me becoming actually quite happy and independent my house got broken into and I decided I didn't feel safe there anymore so I moved in with Bill (who if anyone is wondering is my moms bf) or whatever. Then stuff happen and people started lying about me etc and Bill was going to fire me for false accusations made against me. So I am now living with my friend Melissa hah, while he has my clothes and stuff still and my cat and isn't returning them to me. And I'm trying to find a job and get on my own two feet. Even though this year hasn't started off that great, I believe it will be a good year for me its just the beginning, not the end just a new chapter of my life. Realizing who is real and not, and keeping my head up high believing in greater things. Fighting for what I deserve in life, and what I believe should be rightfully mine. I haven't spoken to my mom in some weeks and I don't care to, she is no longer my problem and I've wiped my hands clean of her. I've taken care and sacrificed my entire life for her and got nothing, no appreciation or respect. Used and taken for granted. So I'm doing me now, and following my dreams. I will strive and achieve them because I am determined. I'm on the road to greatness.
The Beginning of a new chapter
Love Caity<3